why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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