What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
