I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
