Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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