yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
