Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
