Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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