If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
