I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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