All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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