Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
