pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
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