I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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