Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
