I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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