apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
This baby is an asshole
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
