just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
