They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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