god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
