maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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