i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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