normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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