the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
