What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize
