ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
