Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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