Having a random hookup so left but love u
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
