Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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