Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
