Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
My bed is full of blood and feathers
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
