How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
