Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
