my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
