he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
