Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
