Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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