Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
