i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
