i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
