Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
