you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
