I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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