Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
