btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
