I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
We got so high we made milksteak
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
did i just pee glitter
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
