Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Randomize
