i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
