No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
