As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize
