And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
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