Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
